Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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