maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
