is wine microwaveable?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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