Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
