Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
