Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
