if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
