I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
