That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
