i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
