i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
