I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
