At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
