something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My dick has a subreddit
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
