You work out of a Hotel?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
