OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
