I think i peed on brittanys purse
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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