I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
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False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
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Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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