I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
