I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
