Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
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We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
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Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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