i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
