Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
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She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
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So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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