brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
