Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
