its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
