The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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