Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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