Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
