forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
