I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
