My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
