38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
