that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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