well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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