so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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