I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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