is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
