i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
