Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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