I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
