I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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