When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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