So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
