He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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