You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
