I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize