proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
