Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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