We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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