you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wish life had little blips of pornography
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
