We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
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Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
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Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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