i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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