i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
