You're like the curious george of whores
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
