maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
