don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
