youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
These tits shall not be calmed
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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