her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
