I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
