Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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