Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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