I think my vagina is haunted
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend