he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
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And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
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I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not