its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar