He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.