Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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