If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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