come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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