bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
